Sometimes you may have no choice but to move back in with your parents. You may have suffered the consequences of a bad economy with job loss and loss of a home or you have to move in to help your aging parents because they can’t look after themselves properly anymore. Whatever the case, how can you make the transition to living permanently with your parents again as smoothly as possible? You’re not a fresh-faced high school graduate anymore. Though you’re still their child, you’re now a full-grown adult so some rules and balance of power have to change if you’re to co-exist peacefully together. How can that be accomplished? Brisk Transport tells us how.
Before the move, talk about schedules, expectations, and general house rules. It’s important for everyone to be clear about what everyone’s expectations are so that no one is left feeling hurt or disappointed because some things are not happening like they want it to. Your parents might be content to baby you but now that you’re an adult, you expect the freedom that comes with it. Talk about what you usually do for routine and what they do for routine and see how you can both get your routines functioning together. For example, you might be content not having breakfast so you can tell them not to expect to see you at breakfast. That way, they won’t be disappointed when you’re not at breakfast every morning together with them. If you’re looking after your parents, that requires a major adjustment on your part and on their part. Talk about what they want you to do and what you want to do based on their needs and reach a compromise. You will have to prepare most of the meals for them and make sure they have a proper diet if you’re responsible for them. You’ll also be responsible to make sure they’re able to go to all their appointments and take their necessary medications properly.
Share The Load
Now that you live together, don’t expect one party to provide everything for the other party. If you don’t have a lot of funds right away, there are other ways to contribute like doing most of the housework, cooking, and shopping if your parents provide most of the funds for food and living expenses at first. If you’re back living with your parents because of job loss, you need to put yourself out there looking for jobs every day until you find one. Don’t begrudge getting a job that’s not your dream job. If you’re desperate, you can’t be picky. Don’t leave your parents to provide everything for you. You eventually will need a job to help pay for living expenses, food, and eventually get yourself another home. If you’re content living in a suite in your parents’ home forever, pay rent. If you live in a separate suite at your parents’ home and they don’t need looking after, just live a normal life just as you would if living separately from them. Just make sure to keep the noise down so they don’t get bothered by you being a noisy neighbour.
Food And Cooking
If you both live together, create a plan of what meals you will cook or eat together and on what days. Great planning helps to alleviate any misunderstandings. Let them know if you’re not able to dine with them ahead of time is possible. It’s definitely better if there are two separate kitchens especially if more than one woman lives under the same roof. Everyone’s got their own kitchen styles and rules so if possible have two kitchens so that people can make their own food and meals if both parties are capable of cooking and buying their own groceries. If you’re looking after your parents, of course you’ll probably do the majority of the cooking and shopping but share the food expenses. Have receipts for everything so they know where all the money is going.
Be Respectful And Keep The Peace
Being under your parents’ roof usually means being under their house rules again. They’ve been great enough to house you, so follow their rules if they’re reasonable. If you think some of their rules are not reasonable, talk about how you feel in a respectful manner and maybe they’ll accommodate you. Even though they’re aging, they still deserve respect especially after having taken you in again. If there are disagreements, solve them right away. Find the right time to talk about issues like right after having dinner.
Hopefully living with your parents again get’s you back on your feet and helps you get closer with your parents. If you do move out eventually, show them how much you’ve appreciated their help. If you live with them because you’re helping them, good on you! For sure they’re really appreciative of your help and your company.